Last night I had another JW dream. They don’t happen all that often these days, but every once and a while I am reminded that I spent the first 30 years of my life in that religion and it is still a part of my make up.

I don’t exactly know why I would happen to have a JW dream now, there has been nothing occuring in the waking world that has made me think about my Witness past, but the subsconscious does what it wants. Perhaps it can’t help but stumble across that theme in it’s nightly wanderings.

In this particular episode I found myself at an assembly of Witnesses that was being held in an elementary school gymnasium. Hardly the sort of place that Witnesses usually meet, but, dreams do their own things. The elementary school was a bit sprawling with hallways and classrooms filled with children’s drawings and tiny desks. I was my current, adult, non-JW self and I had decided to visit the Witness gathering as a peace offering to my father. I was initially standing in the auditorium, suit and tie bound, listening to the program out of politeness, and then I was wandering the halls of the elementary school since I didn’t actually care what the speakers had to say having heard it all a trillion times before.

That was when my dad came up to me to tell me that I needed to get studying for the next meeting and directed me to an after-hours study session going on in one of the classrooms. I didn’t argue and started heading towards the indicated room but when I got in there I realized I was now stuck with a bunch of other Witnesses who thought I was there as a believer not out of politeness. What was worse, they had been a study group that my brother Rhett had been a member of. They were very excited that I would be joining their group because Rhett had been such a great contributor and pillar when he had been alive. I suddenly started to feel like I had made a massive mistake in coming to this place. I had thought I was making some sort of effort to show my dad that I wasn’t hostile to his faith, I just wasn’t a member, but now I was faced with a group of friendly people who were accepting me on the false belief that I was one of them and I could only disappoint them. I started looking for an escape that wouldn’t sound mean or disappoint them too much. I was really upset that there was a Rhett connection because I felt like I was letting down his memory at the same time I was letting these Brothers and Sisters down. Life gives you opportunities enough to feel awkward, it sucks when your brain puts you in an awkward social situation when you aren’t even conscious. Thanks, Obama.

Anyhow, I escaped from the clutches of the Bible study group not by any graceful reply but by excusing myself to the bathroom and looking for an exit. I then woke up.

I am not sure there was any great message in my dream but I am pretty sure that it was pretty far off from what a real intrusion into a Witness event would be like. First off, the wouldn’t allow me in any of their study groups. They wouldn’t speak to me. They wouldn’t even allow me to speak to them. If I tried I would likely be ushered out of the building if I said anything about religion. I could ask where the restroom is. Probably.

I haven’t set foot in a Kingdom Hall of Jehovah’s Witnesses since Rhett’s funeral in 2005. I am pretty sure that if I did go to a meeting some day (I’ve been tempted) I would find it a very alien experience. I was used to black Bibles, but now they are silver. When I went, there were no televisions in the Halls, but now I understand they routinely watch video presentations at the meetings. The schedule of meetings is different, they have removed a couple and retooled others. In my day, we carried around printed magazines, nobody used tablet computers or laptops, but now a lot of them do. Maybe most.

Every time I have a JW dream I wind up spending a little time online refamiliarizing myself with what’s new in the world of Watchtower. Mainly, I think, I’m just hoping to learn some day that they have finally decided to soften their stance towards people like me. I keep hoping that they will get “new light”. Something like this…

‘When it comes to those who once believed in our religion but, after doing their own research, have come to the conclusion that they believe something else and resigned from our fellowship, we should respect that their spiritual journey is their own. While we do well not to debate religious matters with such ones, lest our own faith be tested, these former brothers and sisters should be treated with love and dignity, as we would treat any other neighbor, family member, or friend, in emulation of the example of the great teacher, Jesus Christ. Recall that Jesus dined with even the sinners, the prostitutes, the tax collectors, and did not shun even these. We can never know what is in the heart of another, what may have motivated them to believe differently than we do, but by continuing to demonstrate our Christlike love, we may one day cause them to return to our congregations, winning them over by the fruitage of the spirit. There is no cause to consider them diseased enemies, twisted apostates, or dangerous foes unless they explicitly engage in slander or abuse towards their former brethren. In the case of one who simply follows another path, the course of love for our fellow man should motivate us to treat such a one with the dignity, respect, and love that all Jehovah’s creatures deserve. After all, are we not all imperfect children of Adam and Eve? Truly this new arrangement will bring us blessings, Brothers and Sisters, as we reunite broken families, heal traumas, and perhaps even win over some of those we have lost back to Jehovah’s Organization.’

Something like that. Wasn’t it nice of me to write it for them using their own style of language? I’m a peach.