Hello and welcome to 2019. So happy we could all be here.

As a professional practitioner of agile software development practices I have a tendency to want to stop at various checkpoints and look back in order to reflect on what worked and what didn’t and try to use that information to calibrate myself for times ahead. We call this a “retro”. At my job this is a step taken every two weeks or so. Today I am going to go ahead and use the fact of it being January 1st 2019 to do a personal retro on the year that was.

I didn’t exactly make any New Year’s resolutions last year, and I don’t intend to make any this year either, but I did try to align myself in a few intentional ways at the start of the year. I tried to live more mindfully and be more present. I had hoped that, if successful, it would result in a year that seemed fuller, richer, that seemed to pass more slowly, from the perspective of my own relative sense of time. Another intention I made for myself was to maintain a focus on personal growth and learning as well as improving in my self-maintenance and care where my health was concerned.

I begin this year 12 months older but looking and feeling exactly as I did 12 months ago. I didn’t noticeably improve or damage my health. Nothing much accomplished there in the way of personal transformation. I am a little disappointed in that, but I also feel as if I made good psychological growth that will ultimately lead to some improvements in my overall fitness and health. Last year was more about my mind, this year I want to also work on my body and spirit.

One big piece of self-care for me was changing my job. The last decade has been a big one for my career. In 2008 I entered into a new stage when I started to transition from a developer and architect into a team lead, enterprise architect, and then director. I did this through a series of intentional steps. First step, taking on a team leadership at HealthPartners. Second step, moving into a combination team lead/technical architect role at Capella. Third, moving to enterprise architect at Capella. Next, taking a role as Technical Director at Olson, and then finally, Director of Software Engineering at Merrill at which point I had fully transitioned from engineering to leading engineers. A couple of years at Merrill made it clear to me that I loved this job but was still not entirely happy with where I was doing it. Fortunately, 2018 presented me with an opportunity to move to GovDocs in the fall and I couldn’t be happier. Now my role and the place I’m working are both very satisfying for me and it has been a long time since I could say that.

Creatively, this year was a mixed bag. I made some things, but not the things I had planned to. Another year without recording a new album, despite a lot of attempts at shaking the tree. Nothing really creative visually or literary either. Mostly I left behind furniture. I made some bookshelves around our stairwell and a vanity in the bathroom, among other things. I absolutely loved joining Awkward Bodies and playing gigs and now we did work on some new material and record it, so, I definitely got a little of the music done as well, but it was just not a big year on the creative front. Casually productive? More crafts than arts? I’m not satisfied but I’m also not totally unsatisfied.

The year had a lot going on, and here is a basic timeline:

  • January
    • stoked about the Vikings making a deep playoff run, deluded into believing there was a shot at the Superbowl, disappointed as usual
    • excited about new Young Fathers album
  • attempted to learn 6 languages at once
    • shaved off the beard I had been growing throughout the football season
  • February
    • first experience with a puzzle room, quite fun actually
  • March
    • Joined Awkward Bodies on bass guitar
    • joined Johnny Cash cover band
    • went to Denver, interviewed by Scott Homan for XJW documentary
  • April
    • won Trivia Mafia with James
    • replaced our stairs with maple
  • May
    • shoot/session at the Compound with HighTV
    • debut with Awkward Bodies
    • played Johnny Cash show
    • hung out at Rhiger’s place with Homan
  • June
    • switch from Mac to PC and iPhone to Android
    • saw Spoon and Grizzly Bear
    • presented at OSN
    • more Awkward Bodies shows
    • skyscraper raccoon
    • SHT backpacking trip
    • new glasses
  • July
    • My Bloody Valentine @ The Palace Theater
    • more AB shows
  • August
    • got nucleargopher.com back
    • another AB show
    • Teicko’s wedding
    • met Natalie Goldberg at her book signing
    • Holden had a stroke
  • September
    • $450 raised for SHAR via birthday fundraiser
    • Holden passed away
    • accidentally met Chuck Foreman at Walmart
    • bought new Fiat Spider
    • turned 45
    • took job at GovDocs
    • dinner at Angies with Jasmine and Nate
  • October
    • started working at GovDocs
  • November
    • Road trip to MI
    • built the bookcase around the stairs
    • Tash Sultana @ The Palace
  • December
    • Ostrich video
    • three week food coma

I guess that was a fairly busy year, but I feel like I could have fit most of that in a couple weeks if I were really trying. Too much down time. 🙂

I think that’s enough looking back. It was a good year, it was fullsome, and fun, worth it. On to 2019.

What do a movie, an email application and a video game all have in common?  They are all new parts of my life over the last few days and I am going to take a moment here to record my initial thoughts, starting with the film…

The Lodgers : Directed by Brian O’Malley, 2017 (https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4399952/

Last night I watched the (alleged) horror film The Lodgers.  If there is such a thing as too much mystery and subtlety this film has it.  Despite making it all the way to the end of the film, I still have no idea what the titular “lodgers” actually were or why they did anything they did or what exactly was going on at any point in the movie.  The ambiance was solid, the performances were good, the house was spooky, but seriously, no idea what was actually happening.  Are the ghosts?  Vampires?  Lamia?  Sirens?  No idea.  If you happen to watch this (it’s on Netflix) and you understand what they are, please tell me.  I am dying to know.

Mailbird (Windows application, http://www.getmailbird.com)

Screenshot of Mailbird on my laptop

I don’t know how many years I have been seeking the ultimate email client application.  Maybe forever.  Maybe I was born on another continent in a former life, eons ago, and began seeking a quality email client application, I can’t rule it out, it certainly feels that way.

This might be the strongest applicant to the job opening yet.  I’m hella impressed with Mailbird.  Hella impressed enough that I took advantage of the $29 Lifetime Pro License deal.  Reasons: 

  • Clean interface with solid junk mail management
  • Unified Inbox with Inbox Zero Support
  • Tons of add-ons and integrations
  • Social media (FB, Twitter, etc) integrated into the UI where they effin’ belong so you can catch up with all your messages in one place

This app is BOSS but sadly, is Windows only.  My quest for a perfect Linux, Mac, iOS and Android email client will continue even if I have Windows covered.

Forza Horizons 4 (XBox One)

ART IMITATES LIFE.

See that picture?  That is a screenshot of a 1962 Triumph Spitfire 4 from Forza Horizon 4.  Now here is a picture of my 1969 Triumph Spitfire Mk3:

WHOA.

I’ve been playing Forza for a LONNNNNNNGGGGGG time.  Every version ever released for every platform.  Forza 1-7 (XBox/XB360/XBOne) and the previous three installations of Horizon and I don’t think I’ve ever been more excited than the moment I uncovered a Triumph Spitfire just like my very own sitting in an abandoned barn in the British countryside in FH4.  OK, mine is a LHD 1969 Mk3 and the one in the game is a RHD 1962 Spitfire 4, but still, that was amazingly cool and allowed me to test just how realistic the Forza experience is.  The answer?  Pretty damn.  The virtual Spit drives almost exactly like my real one.  Crazy.

That aside, here’s the skinny on this game.  As expected, the game is addictive as hell, massive, beautiful but with some BIG annoyances.  I’m going to focus on those:

  • The entire “rave culture festival neon EDM blah blah hoonigan” aesthetic wears real thin real fast.  Menus are annoying, the radio stations all suck, basically they’ve gone out of their way to hype every square inch of the game and it’s really just exhausting and irritating
  • The actual racing mostly sucks.  If you enjoy driving racing sims with a wheel and shifter and all that stuff (think Project Cars 2) then Forza gives you some of that and an open world and you can just tool around and have an awesome time…  until it’s time to race.  The courses are cramped, badly designed and frustrating and there is no option to learn them in advance. Events are generally 3 laps of craziness with no semblance of feeling like a sim, very arcadey, very “hyped”.  There is an event where you race a locomotive, lots of “big air” jumps, it’s very silly.  For tooling around the open world I generally drive with all assists off, manual trans with clutch, but for the races and events, I turn damage off (you WILL be rear-ended and side-swiped pretty much constantly by the idiot Drivatars) and set the driving params to lower difficulty settings just to get through them.  I find myself wishing I didn’t have to do the events to get points and XP but, well, ya gotta.
  • I would love difficulty settings that would be stored with the car being used!  Forza has needed this feature for YEARS.  When I’m in my Triumph Spitfire there should be no ABS, Traction Control, or Automatic transmission.  I don’t need them for such a low powered car and they don’t make sense for a car from 1969.  On the other hand, I jump into a 1000 HP Zenmo or whatever and yeah, all that stuff.  Wish I could store those prefs with the cars instead of having to change them everytime I move from one car to another.
  • The game is working so hard to through shit at you that it is often the case that you will get invited to two or more other things when you’re just on your way to doing one thing.  “Oh, I’m going to this barn find” get’s interrupted with “There is a new race” or “Hey Ryan, participate in this Forzathon Live event” or whatever, over and over.  I often tell the game to STFU and just let me play.

Basically, racing == dumb, graphics == stellar, car selection == awesome, game is too hypey and intrusive but you can tame it if it’s overwhelming.  I’d call it a win.  I just wish it wasn’t so damn silly so much of the time.  It’s like those bass fishing games where every fish is a 20-pound largemouth.  When everything is over the top, nothing is.

I am the first to admit that I have an unusual number of interests, hobbies, passions, that revolve around making things.  Software development, wood working, audio and video production, and automotive restoration, to name just a few.  Sometimes people are surprised to learn that I have almost no formal training to speak of in any of these areas.  I’ve made my living working in software development since 1994 and written tens of thousands of lines of code for more systems and apps then I can recall and worked my way up from Junior Programmer to Director but my actual education?  The BASIC programming book that came with my Commodore VIC-20 when I was 8, computer lab at Valley Middle School, the computer programming math elective in high school, and 13 months at CDI Computer Academy to learn the fundamentals of DOS, Unix, and C.  That was it.  Everything else?  Self-taught.

My other interests are no different.  Fly tying?  Bought supplies and a book, started tying.  Electronics?  Bought supplies and a book and started making guitar pedals.  Woodworking?  Bought tools and a couple books and started making furniture and guitars.  Audio production?  Bought a 4-track and instruments and microphones and started making records (it’s all computers now but that one started a loooooonnnnnngggggg time ago).  I just like making stuff.  Working with my brain and my hands to turn something into something else or make something where there was nothing before.  

I like to share my interests, I like to show people what I’m working on, and I often get asked the same questions, so here I will go about answering my Frequently Asked Questions:

Q. Where did you learn to do “X”?  

A. Reading (books, internet) to learn the theory and ins-and-outs and then hands on practice to actually learn to do it.  Experiment, practice, read, build, learn, repeat.  This applies to the time I built a kayak, the time I wrote a Zen-inspired word game, or my most recent project, a set of floating bookshelves surrounding the stairwell to my basement.  There is no magic.  Read, read again, maybe watch a video online, then experiment and try to do what you read about, and then read some more, and eventually when you feel confident enough, just do it.

Q. Where do you find the time?  You must have a lot of free time…

A.  I do not have a lot of free time.  I work full time, I have a kid and four dogs and two cats and I’m married and I have friends and I play in a band…  Free time is severely constrained.  Due to this I do not watch much, if any, television, I limit my recreational downtime (video games, leisure reading, watching movies), and I try to focus on only a couple creative projects in at a time.  When my bookshelves are 100% complete I plan to finish up one or two lingering projects before I move on to another big one.  Probably finish the guitar I built and get the transmission installed in my Fiat Spider.

Q.  Don’t you spend a lot of money on these hobbies?

A.  Not really.  I spend as little as I can get away with.  I frequent online auctions, and estate sales, and  I’m constantly looking on Craigslist for cheap (or free) tools and I often find that you can do things cheaply by just learning to do them yourself.  That’s half the fun.  How much can I do without spending money?  I once built a home-made 3-axis steadi-cam for video shoots for a total cost of $3 in parts and Razor scooter acquired at a garage sale for $1.  The biggest expenses are definitely tools and supplies but if I had paid to have my bathroom vanity custom built and installed by a professional carpenter and plumber I would have probably spent over $1000.  Materials cost for that project was under $200 and I got to have fun in the process.  DIY is just good times.  Read Make magazine sometime, lots of people have learned that you don’t need tons of money you just need patience, curiousity, and a willingness to try new things.

Q.  You need a lot of space to do all this stuff, don’t you?

A.  I’m not gonna lie, yes, space is really helpful.  Definitely for the car stuff.  I didn’t start trying to restore cars until I moved to a place with outbuildings.  My work on cars before that was basic maintenance and repair of our daily drivers and building scale models of the cool cars I wished I could drive someday.  🙂  On the other hand, when I lived in a smaller house in the burbs with only a single car garage and a basement I still had a recording studio, woodworking tools, and other stuff.  I built a thirteen foot kayak.  I recorded multiple albums.  I built a guitar.  It was more limited but not impossible.  In some ways the space limitations inspired creative solutions.

Q.  But what if you screw up?

A.  Of course I screw up.  I screw up all the time.  🙂  It’s part of the fun.  Sometimes I cut something the wrong length.  Sometimes I cut my finger when I meant to cut a board.  Sometimes I strip a screw or melt a component or sing off key and wreck an otherwise perfect vocal track.  I long ago gave myself permission to make crap, the screw up, to stay dedicated to the process of making even when those things happen.  Some of my favorite things about some of my favorite projects are actually workarounds to mistakes.  For example, I was building a vanity for my bathroom and I cut the tops to width and realized that I had made it 1 1/2 inches narrower than the mirror above.  I had wanted them to be the same width.  Oops.  I couldn’t add 1 1/2 inches.  Instead I added towel bars to both sides that were 3/4 inches wide a piece.  This made the total visual width match AND incorporated two towel bars that wouldn’t have been there otherwise.  Win/win.  Mistakes and limitations and constraints are all opportunities for creative thinking.  I ask myself: Do I really need to fix this?  Is there a way to change the project to incorporate this?  What can I learn from this mistake?  Do I need a band-aid?

Q.  Did your parents teach you to be like this?

A.  No.  No, they did not.  My parents didn’t do any of these things.  My dad was not particularly a “handy man” type around the house.  He was capable and had basic tools but I don’t remember him doing much building or making.  Maybe at his day job but not as a hobby at home.  I’m pretty sure my parents didn’t even know I had a computer.  We didn’t weld stuff.  We didn’t have woodworking tools.  They weren’t big readers either.  I didn’t really have many role models in this arena.  In school I had shop classes, wood and metal.  There were computers.  My Uncle Steve did model cars, I liked that and thought it was cool, but other than that… I didn’t even have the internet, just curiousity and the library and limited funds.

Q.  Isn’t it better to have things done professionally?  I don’t trust myself…

A.  Sometimes.  I don’t insist on doing all things myself either.  I am very conscious of the things I don’t know how to do and I’m very conscious of how much time and effort it can take to learn to do something properly.  Take auto restoration, for example.  I have three “classic” cars and a laundry list of things to do to each one.  I don’t know how to do those things.  I have never done them before.  I will probably screw up, no matter how hard I try to avoid it.  But that’s why I’m working with VERY inexpensive cars right now.  If I screw up a Fiat Spider that is worth $200, well, it’s way better than screwing up a car worth $50,000.  I expect to screw up while I’m learning and then screw up slightly less when I gain confidence.  If I don’t have the luxury of that learning process, if it needs to be done right the first time, I will pay somebody to do it who has already learned, aka, a professional.  Hardwood floors?  Paying a professional.  Replacing the siding on the house?  Ditto.  Knowing what can be tackled by me and what should be handed off is important.

Anyhow, I think it would be cool to add a portfolio section to this site to share all my fun projects with the world in case other people find them interesting.  I plan to do that.  As soon as I figure out how..  🙂

It has recently been suggested to me that I might want to keep a running tally of things I read.  I kinda dig this idea.  Seems fairly mindful.

Anyhow, a few recent reads and brief thoughts on them:

  • Uplift Series by David Brin: I have read Sundiver, Startide Rising and I’m currently reading The Uplift War, all part of the Uplift series by David Brin.  Pretty decent sci-fi series in which species are “uplifted” to full sentience by other species and shenanigans ensue.  Humans, for example, have given chimps and dolphins a genetic bump up the old ladder so they are now doctors and scientists and star-ship captains.  Great concept, sometimes slightly bad writing, I expect it gets better.
  • Purity by Jonathan Franzen: I’ve only ever previously read The Corrections so I’m not exactly a JF fanboi but I did actually enjoy this one too.  Very modern and relevant plot, kind of dark comedy, enjoyable read.  Girl with mysterious past gets involved in an international conspiracy, but not what you might expect.
  • The Prague Cemetary by Umberto Eco: This was a difficult book to like if for no other reason that the main character is an anti-semitic lunatic with multiple personalities who is personally responsible for developing the concept that the Jews should be eliminated via The Final Solution and he is NOT Hitler, he’s an earlier fictional character in the late 1800’s.  I hated him throughout the book and at the end when the author stated that he was the only fictional character in the book and the rest of the stuff actually happened it made me kinda ill.  As usual with Eco, it was enthralling and you couldn’t turn away, but still…
  • Gravity’s Rainbow by Thomas Pynchon: Sometimes with Pynchon I can get into the book and even enjoy it by the end, and sometimes I am just thinking “dude, wtf?”  This book was the latter.  I will be honest, I didn’t go to the end.  I got 2/3rds done, wondered why I was bothering, and abandoned the read.  WWII intrigues around a guy who has been conditioned to get a boner whenever a rocket is about to strike.  Ha ha, except, not really.  Weird but not enjoyably so.  I have read Mason and Dixon, Inherent Vice, The Crying of Lot 49, I basically know what I’m getting myself into with TP, but still, this one just didn’t do it for me and I bailed.
  • Fight Club 2 (Graphic Novel) by Chuck Palahniuk: I had no idea there was a FC2 or that it was a graphic novel until I ran into it at a bookstore in Marquette MI a couple weeks ago.  Color me intrigued. Devoured it in one sitting and I have to say I enjoyed it until the end where I felt it got a little too clever, a little too deus ex machina, a little too silly.  Would it stop me from recommending?  No.  Would I re-read it?  Almost certainly.  I loved Fight Club, both the book and the movie, and I have loved some other books by this author, so, sure, why not?
  • A Scanner Darkly by Philip K. Dick:  I love me some Dick.  Seriously.  (Shush, you.)  He’s a great writer who strikes a really great balance between unique ideas, entertaining writing, relevant and thought-provoking concepts, and frankly, being funny.  His books are always weird and worth it.  ASD is no exception.  A story about a cop who gets involved in the use of a drug called Substance D (aka Slow Death), it’s really a disturbing, sometimes funny, very strange exploration of drug culture.  Normally I shy away from stuff like that.  I am not a fan of Trainspotting.  But in this case, well, I can see why this is one of his more popular and better known works.  And speaking of Dick… 
  • The Three Stigmata of Palmer Eldritch by Philip K. Dick:  Immediately before I read ASD I read The Three Stigmata… and everything I said above applies but perhaps it’s even more bizarre.  ASD goes into a drug culture that is more like opiate addiction but T3SOPE is more like LSD, with Barbie dolls, and pottery, and space colonies, and aliens, and religious symbolism, and…  well…  Just read the damn thing.  You’ll see what I mean.  Perky Pat my ass…
  • Ready Player One by Ernest Cline:  I didn’t see the movie but after reading the book I would sure like to.  What a fun read.  Probably the most entertaining full-length descent into 80’s geek culture ever, in which everything from John Hughes movies to Zork is relevant and the stakes are high no matter how basically silly the core concept is.  I don’t care whether it makes sense, I had fun.  Let’s all live in a lifelike virtual world in which everything is possible and spend our lives fetishizing 8-bit video games as if Joust has some sort of ultimate value.  Why not?  It’s fun.  At least, as a book it is.
  • The Disappearing Spoon: And Other True Tales of Madness, Love, and the History of the World from the Periodic Table of the Elements by Sam Kean: God I loved this book.  Did you know that you can buy spoons made of gallium that appear to the casual observer to be standard metal spoons but dissolve in hot tea?  No you didn’t.  Except you, James.  I know you knew that because you’re you.  But the rest of ya…  This book tells a story about each element in the period table and it’s just fascinating reading.  Doesn’t hurt that the writer is funny either.  Highly recommend.  Especially if you like Mark Kurlansky’s work (Salt, Cod). 
  • Big Bang: The Origin of the Universe by Simon Singh: You are here.  Science has gone through a fairly massive effort to try to figure out how that happened.  This is the story of the path that lead to the current best understanding and it isn’t what you think.  Somebody didn’t just say “Big Bang, we don’t need no stinking God, Darwin FTW!!!”   There is a long and fascinating backstory and many many people who contributed and Simon Singh tells the story very well.  Read this book, and then The Disappearing Spoon.  They actually go quite well together.

I could keep going, there are a few more recent reads worth sharing.  Hidden Figures by Margot Lee Shetterly and and A Brief History of the Dead by Kevin Brockmeier both come to mind, but other than saying they are both quite good, I’ll leave off here.  Maybe I’ll do this again as I read more books.  Maybe…

Two years ago, in July, I bought a blue 1978 Fiat 124 Spider 1800 convertible for $300.  It was cheap and looked very pretty from the outside.  Unfortunately, it was, to put it mildly, a mess.  There were plants growing in it.  The floor was a hole.  Animals had lived in it.  The top and interior were rotted away.  But, I didn’t care.  I have had a crush on the Fiat Spider since I was a kid and I had never owned a classic convertible of any kind or in any condition so bringing home an old dead one was still inspiring.  Plus, I wanted to learn how to restore cars.  The best way to learn is to do, and here was my entry into auto restoration school.

The Blue Spider as I took delivery in July 2016.  Looks can be deceiving, it was pretty but completely rotted out underneath and barely held together.

From that first Spider I learned how to strip a car and I learned the complete anatomy of a Fiat Spider.  I sourced the engine, transmission, a lot of the sheet metal, doors, you name it, and most of that car is in my barn now, but once I had taken everything of value from the car, I scrapped the remaining chassis.  It was no longer cute at that point.  Sad…

My 1980 Spider.  Automatic transmission?  Brown?  What kind of person buys an Italian sports car and says “make mine brown, with an automatic”?  A madman, I tell you.

Spider number two was a brown 1980 Spider 2000 and was even cheaper ($200) than the first Spider.  It was also in better condition.  Missing some sheet metal (rear fender panels) and not currently running, but definitely workable.   Solid underneath.  No plants.  Unfortunately, Spider number two had an automatic transmission paired to a lower performance rear differential.  However, a resto plan for Spider number two started to take shape and it involved transplanting the transmission, drivetrain, and rear axle sourced from the 1978 Spider.  I even considered ignoring the drivetrain swap, just focusing on the body, and doing an electric vehicle conversion.  

While still mulling over options I kept tinkering with both cars, practicing my sheet metal work, reading books, building my confidence, and I also kept a Craigslist search alert up for anything related to Fiat Spiders.  I snagged some red interior pieces, a few extra transmissions, and other random Spider parts but a couple weeks ago one of the things I had really been hoping for showed up, namely, a hardtop.  Spider hardtops are rare as hen’s teeth and I was super stoked to find one, but amazingly, this one just so happened to have a whole Spider attached to it and that is how I found the Spider I didn’t know I had been looking for all this time.

Spider number three, a flame-red 1980 Spider 2000, cost me more than the other two put together ($1700) but it’s a legitimate barn find and a much better restoration candidate than either of the first two.  Here’s a little biography.

I bought this Spider from a 76-year-old gentleman who bought the car secondhand back when it was relatively new in the mid-1980s.  After painting it red (it was originally green) and putting a couple thousand miles on it, the transmission conked out on him and he put it in storage intending to fix it.  He got as far as removing and disassembling the old transmission but then he must have gotten distracted for the next 29 years because that was 1989, judging by the title and plates and it still doesn’t have a transmission in it.  Everything else, however, is in great condition.  A few spots of rust here and there, but generally speaking, it’s in fine shape.  None the worse for being in a 29 year induced coma.  

The restoration has already begun.  First things first, get a title for a car that was last licensed and plated in the 80’s.  Done.  Secondly, sort out a complete transmission with no obvious problems.  Done.  I have no idea if the transmission I am going to install will actually work well, because I’ve never tested it in a car, but if it doesn’t, I have others to choose from.  Next up, install the transmission and mov on to getting the engine ready for a test fire.  If this engine really hasn’t run in 29 years that might take a bit of doing.  Probably more than just throwing gas in it and turning the key.  Once I have a running engine and adequate transmission I will have a running resto, which is exciting as hell.  I plan to do body work over the course of the winter and (hopefully) by spring to have it ready for a paint job.  It’s going to go black, with a red interior.  It’s also going to get the earlier style chrome bumpers.  

What about Spider #2, the brown one?  Well, thanks to Spider #1 I have enough parts and replacement sheet metal lying around to restore that one as well, and now it’s obvious: electric conversion!  Brown Spider is going electric.  Oh yeah.  

I’ll see you on the roads next year in one of my Spiders…  I have no intention of buying more.  🙂

Last night I went to the My Bloody Valentine show and this was my evening.

I arrive about 7:00, Michael is running late. As I’m driving to the show, a few blocks from Palace Theater, Jan Witte crosses the street in front of me. I roll my window down and yell “Hey Jan!” and he stops, looks confused for a second, recognizes me, and says “You going to the Palace?” and I laugh and say “Yeah, I’ll see you there!” and he keeps running.

I don’t actually see him there at any point in the evening but I assume he enjoyed the show.

I wait around outside for a bit, people are mingling, very trendy crowd. There is a guy in a Sub Pop shirt. Another guy wearing a RIDE shirt. A lot of thick plastic glasses and beards. I don’t really see anybody I know except there is this midget woman who looks very much as if she is a meth head running around asking people for “two dollars” and they keep turning her down. I recognize her, she was doing the same in the Burger King parking lot while I was eating breakfast one day and she knocked at my car door window and I gave her some money. I don’t have any money to give her this time but it doesn’t stop her from asking me about six times.

I have to pee so I go into the Palace and use the restroom and then get stamped for readmission and go back outside to wait. I’m too excited to play on my phone or really do much of anything except stand there fiddling with the hearing protection I brought. Over lunch I made a stop to buy some good earplugs for concert listening because I didn’t want to lose my hearing or wear the foam ones. I text Michael, Jill has finally showed up to pick up the boys, his Uber driver is stuck in traffic thanks to the construction on 35W, I tell him I’ll wait inside for him. I don’t want to be too far back. He says that’s great but then asks me if I have a copy of his ticket in electronic form. I presume I do because it was an eTix purchase and I tell him I’ll send it to him.

I go into the theater and head to front left of stage where I immediately see Eric Elvendahl sitting down and we start kibitzing. He tells me about his new job replacing meters that he and Reed helped install 12 years ago. I tell him he is looking great, and he really is. He has lost weight, and he looks healthy and happy. I think that’s pretty awesome. I struggle to find my tickets in my email archive. Eric helps me recall them through the eTix website and pretty soon I have Michael’s ticket on my phone screen. I take a screenshot and send it to him.

Eric gets up to use a bathroom or something, I go to get a drink or something, and when I get back to the spot I’ve lost him. The opener comes on and they seem damn familiar but I don’t know why. Part of me thinks they must be MBV because they seem familiar and I have no idea what MBV looks like these days. I don’t recognize any of the songs, so I am unsure. I text Michael that there is no opener and MBV is on. By the third song I realize I’m wrong and I’m texting him a correction when he appears to my right so instead I just tell him I’m an idiot.

Michael has forgotten his ID and has black X’s of shame on both of his hands so I go get him a beer and get myself a G&T. Michael is afraid to drink while the house lights are up. He’s been waiting 25 years to see MBV, he isn’t about to miss his chance now over a beer. This is all fine and dandy with me. We make small talk about things I can’t even remember, and mostly we just watch them setup the stage for the big show. Michael tells me they have been having problems with false starts on this tour, and sure enough, when MBV take the stage they fumble the opening of the first song and have to start again. It’s the only fumble of the night and for the next seemingly several hours, I am lost in a wave of sound that physically causes my bones to tremble. There is very little in the way of stage banter or talk. There are no intelligible words sung. Just a fury, an ocean, a relentless dream of sound. Bilinda Butcher stands on the left of the stage, playing a succession of glittery Fender Mustang guitars and looking to all the world like a prim and proper librarian who just happens to be in the loudest, most revered, shoegaze rock band in the world. She has no stage mannerisms other than to stand still and play and sing with a little grin on her face like she cannot believe she’s still doing this at 56 either. Debbie Googe on the bass is much more dynamic. She spends the set living in the music, bobbing up and down and rocking her bass while keeping her back mostly to the audience and playing to the drummer, Colm Ó Cíosóig, center. At stage right, the legendary Kevin Shields makes things happen with his guitar that I cannot follow. I don’t understand how these four individuals are creating the sound that is assaulting my body with the tools at their disposal. It seems impossible but it is also so real, so visceral, that there is no questioning it for long.

During what turns out to be the final song of the night, the entire concept of melody or music disappears and they explode into a wall of solid, impenetrable, noise, the worlds biggest waterfall pounding in your ears during the demolition of the worlds biggest city, if I had fillings, they would be vibrating out of my teeth, it is the last musical, most discordant, loudest, sound I’ve ever experienced. 100 jumbo jets blasting their engines into your face at once. I stand in the sound, I resonate, people around me hold their arms up in spiritual ecstasy, I lose track of time, does it last 1 minute? 2? 5? 8? I really don’t know. It lasts longer than it has any right to do but I want it to last forever. I feel my feet leaving the ground, I feel my ribcage juddering, shaking cobwebs and darkness from out of my heart, who knew that noise could have this spiritual effect? Who knew that an assault of sound was just what was needed?

When the song ends, I slowly feel the earth beneath my feet again. The band leaves the stage. There is no banter, no encore, no toying with the crowd. They’ve come, they’ve played, they’re leaving now. The house lights rise. Nobody questions it, nobody complains, the crowd starts to file out.

I tell Michael my brother is probably here. During the show I have sent him some messages via Instagram, the only way I know how. I go to the restroom. I see Eric Skogen while I wait in line. At least I hope it’s him because I say hello. He is beardier than I remember him. It turns out that I am correct as I learn in a couple minutes. Eventually I am on the sidewalk in front of the theater with Chad Rhigher, Eric Elvendahl, Eric Skogen, Mindy Rhigher, Cam Kloekman(?), Michael, and a few others. Rhiger tells me that Reed is behind me. Michael says we should go say Hi. I don’t really want to at first but when he threatens to go over there without me I decide, what the hell. I walk up from behind him and give him a big hug and say into his ear “You may not like this, but I love you brother”

He turns and grins and there he is, my little brother, now 41 years old, Balder, but not as bald as me, greyer, but not as grey. We talk, I feel no tension. We haven’t spoken in at least years and the last time we spoke was bad. But this night we are brothers again for a few moments. We discuss Triumph cars and outboard boat motors. He offers me some spare parts. The feeling of total normalcy is the weirdest aspect of the situation.

Eventually we all go our own ways. I drop Michael off and drive through Taco Bell on the way home. When I arrive, the house is quiet, everyone is asleep. I tuck myself in and drift off to peaceful dreams. In the morning, I wake when the sun rises, I put on a pot of coffee. I get ready for work, I take the bus into Minneapolis, I write this journal entry and listen to MBV and smile.

I used to be a blogger, now I have a blog. And it’s a goddamn ghost town. Before blogging, I built and ran various websites. Small communities formed, people were passionate, it was great. The Web was a helluva place. I don’t even know how to find that Web anymore. Social media, Apps, and The Stream have taken over the world and snuffed out what was once the worlds most interesting form of human communication. It’s not that the Web as an underlying piece of technology doesn’t exist anymore, but it has rapidly been relegated to the status of Usenet.

For several years now I have been trying to put my finger on exactly what has changed and why and how and I just read an article that absolutely nails it, Hossein Derakhshan’s article “The Web We Have To Save” (http://hoder.com/en/posts/4). Thank you Hossein for writing this, it really clarified some things for me.

If you plan to read the rest of what I have to say here, please take a moment or two to read his essay.

Done? Good.

When I started reading this article I was expecting a rant about how “they just don’t make the internet like they used to” but there was much more to it. It wasn’t simply a rant about “kids these days” it was about the subversion of the early Web from a platform for free speech, connection, and information sharing into a broadcasting platform, fundamentally the move from a book-internet to a television-internet, from an active, thought-provoking, engaged type of internet into a passive, mind-numbing, disengaged type of internet. I’ve felt this for years but I’ve struggled to fully express what I’ve been feeling.

Let’s begin by doing a little analysis, shall we? Here are some of the things I rarely do anymore:

  • Write essays or anything else longer than a sentence or two
  • Engage in internet-based discussions with people outside major social media sites
  • Explore the Web
  • Read something that is actually thought provoking online

Instead my online time is spent mostly in apps. When I follow a link out to the wild web I usually get hit with “HERE IS OUR COOKIE POLICY AND YOU MUST AGREE” or “WE NOTICE YOU ARE USING AN AD-BLOCKER, PLEASE WHITELIST US” or “<BLARING AUDIO FROM AUTOPLAY VIDEO>” or a single paragraph being displayed followed by a paywall asking for my $$.  

I’ve made some changes to my browsing habits.  I have switched my searching to StartPage.com (which provides more anonymity and less BS), I have switched my news source to APNews.com, but the truth is that the Web has become a fantastically unpleasant place with way more in common with television than it has in common with books.  It’s aggressive, invasive, controlled by governments and corporations, and incessantly loud because the Web now serves at the pleasure of the social networks.  If you click that bait when it pops up on your infinite feed, the owners of the various web properties that are struggling to stay afloat via their decreasing ad revenue (90% of the revenue goes to FB and Google and everybody else shares the remainder) feel that they need to do everything they can to grab your attention.  It’s like how advertisers make their commercials louder than the television programs, so you’ll perk up and pay attention.

The thing is…  I HATE TELEVISION.  I don’t watch television.  I don’t come home and turn the TV on and let it babble in the background while I do things.  The more the internet acts like television the more I dislike it and the more social media dictates the way the rest of the web works, the more it becomes like television…  It’s a vicious cycle.  Apps and social media have given everybody a few mindless, endless, personally tailored channels to peruse until they die.  These channels are assembled out of a combination of all your social relationships + filtering to your tastes and interests + random content scoured from the internet and the result is:

  • shallower social relationships
  • less exposure to new thoughts, perspectives
  • content that is distorted by the need to maximize sharing 

This has given me an idea.  Something significantly beyond writing my own ranting post about this.  (Which, clearly, I have also done.) 

You can’t put the modern internet back into the bottle it spilled forth from, but what if there were a website/app that rewarded content and providers who are civil and allowed users to avoid the messy shitty noise of the current internet?  I have thoughts about a way to do this.  I need to do a little digging.  I believe this is a solvable problem and I think I might have some ideas on how to solve it.  (Hopefully) more to come…

As I’ve previously shared on this blog, I like cars.  Especially old British and Italian convertibles.  Last July, after a lifetime of reading car magazines and drawing pictures of them, I finally got my hands on my first one.  The reasons behind the long delay are not interesting.  Suffice it to say, it’s been a fun year.  Here’s an update.

Arrival.

July 2, 2016: I purchased a blue 1978 Fiat 124 Spider for $300 off of Craigslist.  The body was fairly sound, except for the floor and driver’s side front inner fender.  The engine was running, but the vehicle was not drivable.

The Blue Spider as I took delivery in July 2016.

The Blue Spider back in the 1990’s, before the bad times.

As you can see from the pics, it wasn’t completely trashed, but a closer look revealed the that car had been sitting out in the elements, without protection, for a long time.

A plant should not be growing next to the driver’s seat.

I got it home and started educating myself about restoring cars as well as stripping the car down to see what I had gotten myself into.

The first things I did were to remove the interior and clean a lot of the acorns, dirt, and other accumulated debris from the vehicle.  I discovered a lot of holes and rust and things that just were not salvagable.  This was a car that needed a LOT of love.

Acorns. Friggin’ acorns…

Also took out the engine and transmission and started learning things.

Is this going to work?

Yes!

I bought some books and took a remedial welding class and bought a bunch of equipment to get going with restoration, taking it fairly slowly.  It wasn’t long before another old Spider came up on Craigslist for $200 and I grabbed that one too, thinking it would be a parts donor for the first one.  There were things I didn’t like about the second Spider, namely that it was brown and had an automatic transmission (yuck) but the nice thing was that between the two cars I had enough solid metal and good parts to make one complete Spider and the combined cost in actual cars was only $500.

The Brown Spider arrives.

Not bad, but, not as pretty as the Blue Spider and cursed with an automatic transmission… Why????

Time has passed and during that time I have tinkered, and read, and learned, and practiced welding on scrap, and done small things but I haven’t really made serious progress, in large part due to the fact that I couldn’t decide on a good course to pursue.

Patiently waiting.

It wasn’t wasted time.  In the least year I’ve learned a ton about fabricating, sandblasting, welding, electrolytic rust removal, english wheels, engines, electrical systems, and more.

“Spooge Tank”

Before…

… and after!

I even bought a perfectly functional 1969 Triumph Spitfire to drive when I’m not messing with the Spiders or reading books about cars.

“Hi Mr. Spider, you’re not looking so good. Are you ever coming out of the hospital?”

I think I’ve finally figured out my strategy to get this restoration well and truly underway.  I thought I was restoring the Blue, but now I realize I’m actually going to be restoring the Brown but with an awful lot of the Blue involved.  The Brown Spider is in fundamentally better condition than the Blue as far as the soundness of the frame is concerned, but it has more rust and damage to the visible body panels (at least one of which is just plain missing).  The structural components are sound, floor is solid, all wheels are attached to good metal.  The Blue is the reverse.  It looks better from the outside but has more rot inside.  The Brown has a cracked windshield, the Blue is fine.  The Brown has a convertible top in decent condition, the Blue does not.  You get the picture.  It’s taken me some time to sort all of this out and make a plan, but here’s where I’ve landed.  I’m combining the two cars like this:

Body: Brown Spider with contributions of sheet metal from Blue Spider but ultimately stripped bare and repainted (probably black)

Windshield: Blue Spider

Convertible Top: Brown Spider

Engine: Brown Spider

Transmission and Rear Diff: Blue Spider

Wheels: Brown Spider (those Cromodora “Iron Cross” alloy wheels are worth more than I paid for the car)

Mirrors, handles, interior bits: A mix, but mostly Blue Spider, because I like the look of the earlier trim pieces more

So far so good on all of that, but until last night I had no idea what I was going to do about the interior.  I needed both front and rear seats, and also carpeting and door panels and all of that good stuff.  Tonight I got a big piece of that puzzle when I purchased a set of red Fiat Spider seats (front and rear) in very good condition from a Craigslist seller for $400, with some carpet included.  The lighting is weird in these pics and makes the seats look more brownish but they are actually a burgundy red and in fine condition.

It’s so weird for there to be seats…

The Brown is about to get a whole lot of work done.

Now, for the first time, I can envision how to proceed towards having an actual, drivable, restored car.  I can see the plan.  I feel like I’m getting close to having accumulated enough confidence, tooling, and education to start tackling the restoration in earnest, at least insofar as I should be able to begin making positive progress instead of the stripping and researching I’ve mostly done to this point.  In this next year I will be making serious progress on this thing.  It has taken me a while to start to feel like that is possible but now I can see the path.  The real work begins.

And when I can’t stands no more, I can always take a break and go drive my Triumph.  🙂

This doesn’t suck.

 

I grew up in a cult.  I spent much of my adult life in a cult.  My family is still in the cult I grew up in.  So, I write from some experience.  I have asked myself if my particular experiences have colored my perceptions or led my thinking astray on the subject I am writing about here, and I’m certain that I have a bias shaped by those experiences, but I also think I am in a good position as a former cult member to recognize cult thinking, cult indoctrination, propaganda techniques, and psychological manipulation in action.  I don’t see them often but when I do, I recognize them immediately.  People under the influence of a cult are unable to see it, but once you know what to look for, it’s not difficult.  As the current American political race has progressed, it has become more and more clear to me that what we are witnessing is the rise of a cult leader and I’m seeing people I know and love fall under the sway of this leader, and I want to take a moment, pull back the curtain, and talk about what is happening with one Mr. Donald Trump.

The American political system has always been a battle between two major parties and a few minor ones vying for scraps around the edges.  Politicians from the Democratic and Republican party have been more or less charismatic, more or less powerful, more of less corrupt, and this is normal.  Politics as usual.  The last couple of decades have seen the rise of an organized propaganda machine for the Republican party, built on a combination of radio talk shows, web sites, and the sun around which it all orbits: Fox News.  There is Rush Limbaugh, Sean Hannity, Ann Coulter, Glenn Beck, Bill O’Reilly, Alex Jones, Sarah Palin, etc., etc….  the list of major right-wing celebrities is long.  Of course there are left-wing political entertainment celebs as well, (Bill Maher, Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart) but the list is much shorter.  There is a perfectly good reason for this.  The majority of Americans currently identify as left-wing or center-left in their political positions. Propaganda is intended to sway people into a particular belief system.  You don’t need to use it if most of the people already believe.  

That is not the only reason, however.  The fact is that the left-wing of American politics is a fairly diverse place, ideologically and culturally.  The right is a predominantly white, Christian, narrowly defined perspective, and the left is a little more anarchic.  Propaganda on behalf of diversity, free thought, and multiculturalism is basically an oxymoron.  If you were to use a religious analogy, the political right is more like the fundamentalist Baptists and the political left is more like Unitarian Universalism.  Centralized message control is a feature of authoritarian, fundamentalist, systems, not free flowing, diverse systems.  So, mostly, the rise of the propaganda network has happened on the right.  

A clarification in terms might be a good idea here.  The word “propaganda” is important to understand. Propaganda is NOT a message.  Propaganda is a technique.  It is a way of communicating that is designed to short-circuit critical thought and instill messages at an emotional level.  To bypass the intellect and go straight for the gut.  Propaganda can promote a political, religious, corporate or personal message.  It consists of a collection of manipulative communication techniques that, when used effectively, can make a person buy a product they can’t afford, hate a person they do not know, believe a false claim, stick with a company that mistreats them, even kill others or themselves.  

When I refer to the rise of a propaganda network in right-wing media outlets, I do not mean to say that conservative political principles or ideas are propaganda, I mean to say that several propaganda communication techniques have become commonplace.  In his book “A Chronology and Glossary of Propaganda in the United States” author Richard Alan Nelson defines propaganda as:

“a systematic form of purposeful persuasion that attempts to influence the emotions, attitudes, opinions, and actions of specified target audiences for ideological, political or commercial purposes through the controlled transmission of one-sided messages (which may or may not be factual) via mass and direct media channels. A propaganda organization employs propagandists who engage in propagandism—the applied creation and distribution of such forms of persuasion.”

For many years, Americans got most of their news from network television programs on ABC, NBC, and CBS, which strove for neutral and balanced reportage.  Then cable news became big business and Australian mogul Rupert Murdock decided there was money in a less neutral approach, Fox News was born, and now we are living in a world that has been influenced by this right-wing media propaganda machine for a couple of decades.  The effects this has had on our politics, our culture, and our standing in the world are a very interesting topic on their own, but I want to focus on one in particular.  The groundwork has been laid for the rise of a cult leader.

See, the odd thing about the propaganda network that has been operating so successfully (making lots of people very rich) has been that it hasn’t operated on behalf of any one individual.  Unlike some propaganda which often seeks to empower and glorify one specific leader, the right-wing media sphere has operated more or less as a platform to disseminate ideas that help rich people stay rich.  The oil and coal industries spread misinformation about climate change so that people will keep burning fossil fuels, religious leaders keep the contributions coming in by connecting American exceptionalism, guns, and scripture in a way that may not make a lot of sense, but let’s them buy new jets, and each individual Beck or Hannity or Palin sells their new books.  It’s a market.  It operates on fear, uncertainty, and emotional (not rational) thought.  But until now, it has been nearly impossible to point to any one person and say that they had risen to the level of a leader of their own cult.  Maybe Alex Jones, maybe Glenn Beck, almost certainly those two qualify, but their influence has been more limited.  

But now we have Trump.

In the book “Age of Propaganda: The Everyday Use and Abuse of Persuasion” (Pratkanis, Aronson, 1991) there is a chapter entitled “How to Become a Cult Leader” and I know of no better read on the subject of what Donald Trump has done, even though it was written 25 years ago.  The chapter begins with a brief discussion of a well-known religious cult, the cult of the Reverend Jim Jones.  His followers in Guyana at a location known as Jonestown, were induced to commit mass suicide by drinking cyanide laced Kool-Aid because they were convinced they were going to be attacked and killed by the American government.  914 people, many of them children, believed him and died.  The authors go on to describe other seemingly bizarre cult behaviors but then they say this:

“Although they may seem mysterious, the persuasion tactics of cults are nothing more or less than the same basic propaganda tactics that we have seen throughout this book. Cults simply use these techniques in a much more systematic and complete manner than we are accustomed to. Simply because the end result is dramatic and bizarre does not require that the means to get there be mystifying. Indeed, in case any of you would like to be a cult leader, we can list seven mundane but nonetheless “proven-effective” tactics for creating and maintaining a cult.”

Here is the list of proven effective tactics:

  1. Create your own social reality
  2. Create an in-group and an out-group (aka “a granfalloon”)
  3. Create commitment through dissonance reduction
    1. People become more and more committed by taking gradual steps.  For example, a religion may gain a convert by an initially attractive message delivered by a charismatic leader, followed by a small donation, which then escalates to a tithe, then perhaps changes in social ties, dress, language, until eventually the convert is so committed to the cult that they will do almost anything asked and believe almost anything the leader says.  This is how Jim Jones got 914 people to kill themselves.  It is a gradual spiral of commitment. 
  4. Establish the leader’s credibility and attractiveness
  5. Send members out to proselytize the unredeemed
  6. Distract members from thinking “undesirable” thoughts
  7. Fixate member’s visions on a phantom

Not all cult leaders use all of these tactics to the same degree, but there is a strong tendency to use a combination of these techniques.  As I mentioned earlier, I was in a religion that I, and most sociologists, consider to be a cult, the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  To a large degree, the Witnesses use all of these tactics.  They have a closed social system that strongly encourages all information and thinking to be filtered by or delivered through the Watchtower Society.  They view themselves as having The Truth and everybody else as being “The World”.  Item 3 takes a little more explaining but the process of gradual commitment is what every Witness is trained to do when they go door to door.  The Watchtower Society discusses their founder and current leadership using scriptures and glowing prose.  Witnesses are famous for preaching and door knocking.  Witnesses are discouraged from free thought and finally, Witnesses are constantly told to focus on Armageddon and the end of the world.  

Some cults are very extreme and happen very fast.  The Nazi Party, Scientology, and Jonestown are good examples.  Sometimes religions or movements morph into cults over time, like the Jehovah’s Witnesses, which started as a relatively normal bible study group.  The point is, cult organizations follow certain patterns and you can see them happening right now in the Trump campaign and this is something new.  We have had an affiliated group of propagandists, spreading fear and conspiracy in order to make money or defend moneyed interests, but to see one individual take such a prominent role and start to use these tactics seems new to me.

First, item: Create your own social reality.  This first step towards cultdom involves restricting information flow and the groundwork has been laid not by Trump, but by Fox News and their affiliates.  Some cults practice information control through geographical isolation, with members forced to live on a “compound” and cut off from the outside world, but that is hardly the easiest way to have a large scale cult.  Age of Propaganda says “it is much more practical to teach members self censorship by labeling everything that is not “of the cult” as “of the devil.”  We can see this at work in the media messaging of the right wing with their demonization of the “main stream media” and their dismissal of media outlets, newspapers, websites, and television channels that don’t consistently support their ideological positions.  Many news sources have traditionally tried to represent competing arguments and positions without intentional bias.  This has been considered to be good journalistic practice.  However, outlets like Fox News have intentional bias and routinely demean and dismiss news outlets that represent multiple positions or competing positions as being part of a liberal conspiracy and therefore reinforce and encourage allegiance to themselves as the sole source of reliable information.  Consumers who are thinking for themselves will attempt to compensate for editorial bias by getting their news from multiple sources.  Myself, I will read or watch news coverage from all sources, including Fox, and also from international sources, in order to try to get a more complete picture of an important event.  There are many, however, who only subscribe to and interact with a small number of very consistently biased media outlets and therefore they begin to believe that they are well-informed and that people in general concur with their views.  This is an illusion but it is one component of having a shared social reality.  People in “the bubble” of the approved media sources will have similar views of certain topics, words, and ideas that may not actually be accurate, but are consistent.  

This selective information flow leads to step two of creating a social reality: a cult’s eye view of the world.  This is “picture of the world is then used by members to interpret all events and happenings. For example, Jim Jones taught that there is a constant threat of nuclear war and that the world is full of racism. To be prepared to live in this evil world, one must be ready to die. Suicide practice drills were conducted to prepare members for the inevitable attack on the Temple by this evil world.”  The Watchtower Society promotes the idea that the world is in “the last days”, Armageddon is coming soon, and Satan is behind the world’s governments.  Thanks to the mainstreaming of conspiracy theories via right-wing media outlets, there has emerged a relatively consistent right wing “worldview” in which a handful of powerful liberal monetary elites (generally presumed to be Jewish) have colluded to manipulate things to undermine American sovereignty and create a “New World Order”.  Hillary Clinton is allegedly working with them, according to Trump.  They have promoted the hoax (probably originated by the Chinese government) of global climate change because it weakens American business interests.  The homosexual agenda, pro-choice movement, and the rest of the liberalization of Western culture is a premeditated and coordinated attack on Christianity intended to undermine White Anglo-Saxon Protestant European culture.  I could go on.  And on.  And on.  The world we live in, with globalization and multiculturalism and massive technological, scientific, and cultural changes, cannot simply be changing due to the march of human progress and the growth of science and ideas, it must be a conspiracy or a plot against Conservative American Values.  That is the narrative that makes sense.  The War on Christmas.  Anti-Islamic sentiment.  Anti-immigration sentiment.  Hatred of Clinton.  It all seems to “connect” somehow.  If you think I’m exaggerating, watch or listen to some right wing media.  Glenn Beck will happily pull out a giant blackboard and draw out all the connections.  Alex Jones will tell you all about how Obama is not only secretly a Muslim and not born in America, but also that he’s gay and Michelle is a transgender man named Michael, and the Rothschild’s and Illuminati control it all, and evolution is a lie and climate change too, and the conspiracy is coming for your guns.

Most of this reads as sheer insanity to people who are not in the social reality inhabited by right wing adherents.  If you exercise critical thought and judgment and keep a balanced intake of a variety of media sources and listen to people and family and friends from across the political and religious spectrums, you will not arrive at these conclusions or see these patterns.  But if you filter out everything but these sources, it makes perfect sense that Hillary Clinton is an evil puppet of the NWO and white genocide is nigh.  Step one of creating a cult, in other words, was accomplished and underway and Trump simply had to blow the right dog whistle to have people throng to him.  This is how he won the nomination, but also limits his ability to grow his base.  Most of America is not already primed to join the cult but enough are that Trump was able to take over.  This particular aspect of the Trump cult phenomenon does have strong parallels to the rise of Hitler in Germany.

Let’s look at the second item: creating a “granfalloon” or an in group/out group situation.  The word “granfalloon” was coined by writer Kurt Vonnegut in the book Cat’s Cradle and it means “a group of people who affect a shared identity or purpose, but whose mutual association is actually meaningless”.  Examples: people who feel connected to each other because they all attended the same school or support the same football team or come from the same state or country.  In truth, none of these similarities tells an individual anything about the personality, trustworthiness, or value of another person, but humans are remarkably susceptible to the granfalloon technique.  This is “a method of persuasion in which individuals are encouraged to identify with a particular granfalloon or social group. The pressure to identify with a group is meant as a method of securing the individual’s loyalty and commitment through adoption of the group’s symbols, rituals, and beliefs.” (source: Wikipedia)

There was a famous study by a British social psychologist named Henri Tajfel who found that strangers would form groups on the basis of completely inconsequential, completely random, criteria.  For example, in one study, participants were split into groups based on coin tosses and then asking questions about the people from the In and Out groups.  It turned out, that people had strong positive associations with their fellow participants who had shared their coin toss result and negative associations with those who did not.

This site: http://www.simplypsychology.org/social-identity-theory.html has the following summary:

“Social identity is a person’s sense of who they are based on their group membership(s).

Tajfel (1979) proposed that the groups (e.g. social class, family, football team etc.) which people belonged to were an important source of pride and self-esteem. Groups give us a sense of social identity: a sense of belonging to the social world.

In order to increase our self-image we enhance the status of the group to which we belong. For example, England is the best country in the world!  We can also increase our self-image by discriminating and holding prejudice views against the out group (the group we don’t belong to). For example, the Americans, French etc. are a bunch of losers!

Therefore, we divided the world into “them” and “us” based through a process of social categorization (i.e. we put people into social groups).

This is known as in-group (us) and out-group (them).  Social identity theory states that the in-group will discriminate against the out-group to enhance their self-image.

The central hypothesis of social identity theory is that group members of an in-group will seek to find negative aspects of an out-group, thus enhancing their self-image.

Prejudiced views between cultures may result in racism; in its extreme forms, racism may result in genocide, such as occurred in Germany with the Jews, in Rwanda between the Hutus and Tutsis and, more recently, in the former Yugoslavia between the Bosnians and Serbs.

Henri Tajfel proposed that stereotyping (i.e. putting people into groups and categories) is based on a normal cognitive process: the tendency to group things together. In doing so we tend to exaggerate:

1. the differences between groups

2. the similarities of things in the same group.

We categorize people in the same way. We see the group to which we belong (the in-group) as being different from the others (the out-group), and members of the same group as being more similar than they are. Social categorization is one explanation for prejudice attitudes (i.e. “them” and “us” mentality) which leads to in-groups and out-groups.

Examples of In-groups – Out-groups

o Northern Ireland: Catholics – Protestants

o Rwanda: Hutus and Tutsis

o Yugoslavia: the Bosnians and Serbs

o Germany: Jews and the Nazis

o Politics: Labor and the Conservatives

o Football: Liverpool and Man Utd

o Gender: Males and Females

o Social Class: Middle and Working Classes”

Donald Trump did not invent the in/out division, but has exploited it, magnified it, and promoted it.  From encouraging violence towards dissenters at his rallies, promoting ethnic and cultural separation and division, and telling his followers that they are part of a special “Movement” and that the whole world is “rigged” against them and “just doesn’t get it” and they are united because they are on the Inside, he has been promoting this concept from his very first day as a candidate.  The social reality inhabited by Trump supporters involves a lot of other people who are “In” and who are reinforcing the concept to each other that a Clinton win would be the end of America, that Islam will take over, that China will bankrupt us, and that it’s all according to a planned conspiracy.  They are happy to be in The Movement and don’t understand why everybody else can’t see The Truth about “Them”.

As we move deeper into the political campaign, we see more of number three: create commitment through dissonance reduction.  If you don’t know the word “dissonance”, it’s defined as “a lack of agreement or harmony between people or things”.  In the world of cults, this is both about getting everybody to “tow the line” among themselves but also get’s into cognitive dissonance, where an individual has conflicting or competing thoughts in their own minds.  Removing dissonance is a vital step in getting people to be more committed to a cause.  AOP says:

“After making an initial commitment one does not feel comfortable reneging on the deal. To justify the sensibility of the initial commitment, the member is often willing to do more and then still more-to make increasingly demanding commitments. In this way, the resolution of dissonance and maintenance of one’s self-image as honoring commitments form a powerful rationalization trap.”

Getting followers to yell together, to hold to the same group standards, maybe dress alike, talk alike, think alike, requires people to commit more and more fully to a worldview and part of that is learning to resolve contradictions or conflicts in a way that keep you in the cult.  Initially Trump may have needed people to listen to his speeches, but he has asked more of them over time.  More money, more time, but most obviously, a deeper commitment to his message and The Donald even as his behavior has become less and less defensible.  People who would never have supported somebody who bragged about sexually assaulting women, are so committed to his worldview and message, that they have to defend it or risk admitting that they made a mistake.  To resolve the dissonance for themselves, they have to lower their own standards, demonize Clinton instead, or convince themselves it’s not true.  They will judge and reject family and friends who don’t see that Donald Will Make America Great Again because they would rather talk to people who agree with them.  Similarly, they learn to reject facts and counter-arguments and even make up “facts” of their own rather than admit that there may be other ways of looking at things.  Thinking for yourself, holding contradictory opinions, these are hard things to do when you have a candidate who says he is “the only one” who gets it, who peppers every other sentence with “believe me” and who encourages supporters to use violence against protesters.

Number 4: establish the credibility and attractiveness of the leader.  If there are two major themes to Trump’s campaign, they are the theme of “us vs. them” (granfalloon technique) and the myth of The Donald.  So rich, so successful, so smart, such a ladies man, big hands, big penis, powerful, gold plated… never in my experience has an American politician worked harder to tell the world how amazing and awesome and sexy and smart and wordy and long-fingered he is.  Oh, and rich.  Did we forget that?  Only The Donald can save you.  Only Him.

The next item: send members out to proselytize the unredeemed.  Trump has rallies, hats, Twitter, Facebook, the media, etc, etc, and like all politicians he wants people to share and post and promote his message.  And of course, promotion of a candidate is par for the course in political campaigns, but there is something slightly deeper going on with Trump.  He is promoting argument and division.  He has encouraged his followers to sometimes “rough ’em up a little”.  Why?  Why ask others to carry your message, even when you will not persuade anybody to agree?  AOP says: “Perhaps just as important, proselytizing can ensure that members are constantly engaged in self-sell, or self-generated persuasion”  Arguing on social media or at a doorstep rarely changes a mind, but it often DOES reinforce the beliefs of the people arguing.  Good cult leaders promote the idea of their followers spreading the word even if it results in few new converts.  It builds up loyalty in the followers you currently have.

The sixth item, “distract members from thinking undesirable thoughts” is a retention tactic that is particularly powerful when bad news hits a campaign, and Trump has proven adept at it.  The tactic is “one of preventing further close scrutiny and thought about the merits of membership. This can be done by teaching that any “disagreeable thought” is evil and from the devil. For example, if a member doubts a leader’s command or starts to wonder about the merits of a particular theological point, he or she is counseled that this is “out of the Lord” or “from Satan” and should be rebuked”.

The examples given in the AOP quote in the previous paragraph are religious in nature, but think about Trumps response to the Access Hollywood Billy Bush tape.  Many Trump followers were shocked to hear him brag about his ability to grab women “by the pussy” and kiss them without their consent and get away with it because he was “a star”.  They may have wanted to abandon Trump, especially if they themselves are moral and religious people.  Trump responded to the video by distraction aimed at keeping his followers from thinking about the problem.  ‘Look over here!  Bill Clinton is accused of affairs with these women!’ or “it’s just locker room talk” and finally, “it’s all lies, lies, lies, they have it in for me”.  Like all cult leaders, Trump wants you to see his positive attributes (wealthy, ???) while being distracted away from anything that might make you question him.

Trump is a master of “shooting the messenger”.  He routinely launches personal criticisms of individual journalists, and dismisses entire newspapers, and television outlets as being garbage if they say anything about him that he doesn’t like.  Nobody is safe, not even Fox News.  Not even fellow Republicans.  If somebody publishes his tax returns and they look bad for Trump, he will say the newspaper is evil and threaten lawsuits.  He will not address the contents of the tax returns.  His standard practice for diffusing criticism is to attack the person or outlet doing the criticizing and encourage his followers to do the same.  

Finally, we come to the culmination of the recipe, the final piece that differentiates a cult leader from a normal politician.  Normal politicians try to appeal to a wide range of voters, they worry about the demographics of their constituency, they promote their policies and ideas, and they debate over tactics and strategies to solve problems.  Cult leaders claim to be the only solution to the world’s problems, because they are so special, they promote limited, heavily filtered, information consumption among their followers, they promote the idea that there is an Us and a Them, they foster division and, therefore, allegiance, they deepen the commitment of their followers with carefully chosen tactics and they do everything they can to keep their followers from thinking any unapproved or undesirable thoughts.  And to make that all seem worthwhile, they fixate their followers on to a phantom promise, a golden goal, a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow.

In the case of Trump, it’s right on the hat.  Make America Great Again.  The America Trump decries is a crime-ridden, powerless, poverty ridden, country overrun by immigrants and Muslims and terrorists and other non-White, non-European, people.  And he tells his people that he will return us to a halcyon time, a time of Prosperity, Law and Order, Safety, and Greatness.  It’s going to be so great, believe Him.  Trump doesn’t back this up with a solid plan other than to build a wall and trust in Him.  He is the only one.  He can restore America to the paradise it was before liberals and gays and blacks and Jews and hispanics and Muslims and all the rest brought it to wrack and ruin.  Only The Donald.  Only Trump.  America can once again be a shining city on a hill, fortified by walls, where little white children can grow up, safe from the terrorists and globalization.  It’s a phantom in more ways than one.  First, the paradise America he seems to remember never really existed in the first place.  Our world has always been complex.  There has never been an Eden or a Golden Age.  But, we can use selective memory and information filtering to make it appear that there was some better, simpler, time.  Facts be damned.  The other way this is a phantom is that the world He claims He will bring about is impossible.  The forces of globalization and multiculturalism, the impact of technology and communications networks, these are not reversible and no Great Wall of America can stem these tides.  Donald’s wall and Donald’s amazing powers of negotiation are not going to bring manufacturing jobs back to Detroit.  Trump’s vision of the future relies on magical thinking.  But the phantom only needs to seem real long enough for him to get elected.  If it dissipates months after the election, he can just keep their attention on other things.  He will have already acquired the power he seeks, it will no longer matter to him.  And for those of us not under his influence, we may like the world as it already is.  We may already think America is great because of the very things he decries.  We may love having greater diversity and freedom and multiculturalism and global opportunity.  But then again, we aren’t wearing his red hats.

Nobody ought to be surprised that a man who has made his entire life out of representing his own name as a brand and using persuasion techniques would build his political power via cult leadership tactics.  I heard Dilbert creator Scott Adams in a recent interview explain how he had studied persuasion techniques and it was so obvious that Trump was using them that he personally believed Trump was almost certain to win the election.  He believed it didn’t particularly matter what Trumps policy positions were, it was simply the case that most people have poor defenses against being manipulated by these tactics.

Fortunately for America, unfortunately for Trump, his advertising and political ground game have been poor.  He has made some errors strategically in getting his message out, thinking that what works at his rallies will work with people who are not already under his sway.  He has not been very good at step 3, commitment via dissonance reduction, where the larger populace is concerned.  The 10% of the population who are hardcore believers in Him will do anything he asks, but the other 90% are still mostly free of his Believe Me influence.  It doesn’t hurt that he has been caught on tape bragging about committing sexual assault either.  I’ve thought all along that there was a natural limit to how many people he could get to support him, and I think he has hit it, and it’s not enough to win the election.  He will almost certainly lose.  But it is very likely that this won’t end here.

The propaganda machine has been at work so long, Americans don’t even realize it anymore.  They no longer remember a time when news outlets strove to minimize or eliminate bias.  They no longer consider it a bad idea to restrict their information intake to one or two narrowly filtered channels.  Red V. Blue has become a part of the culture, with two different sets of facts and worldviews.  The situation that Trump has capitalized on to build his cult will still exist if he almost certainly loses on election day.  What’s worse, Trump and his followers will still be there and that will be the time that they will be the most dangerous.

In the early 1800’s, a man named William Miller became interested in Biblical symbolism and prophecy.  He became convinced that the Bible predicted a date for the end of the world, October 22, 1844.  He gained a following and they became known as Millerites.  When the day came and went, it was known as The Great Disappointment.  You would think that would be the end of the story, but you would be wrong.  He went back, recalculated, moved the date to 1845, failed again.  Then things got really interesting.  Many left his movement, but other sects of Christianity arose from the ashes of the Great Disappointment by reinterpreting the events in such a way as to continue to believe they had been correct.  The exercise in using rationalization to reduce cognitive dissonance gave rise to the Advent church, the Seventh Day Adventist church, and ultimately, the Jehovah’s Witnesses.  The Ba’hai faith also believes Miller was right.  Once a person is committed to the message of a cult leader, it is very difficult for them to give it up.  If the Perfect Leader fails, there are a number of rationalizations to fall back on.  The Leader didn’t actually fail, he succeeded in some other way.  The Leader was persecuted and thwarted by his enemies and must be vindicated.  The Leader is only experiencing a temporary setback and will return if we are only patient and have faith.  When/if Trump loses the presidency, his cult leader status and his power will decrease overall, media coverage will decrease, his brand will suffer, but his core adherents, his most loyal followers, will continue.  They will accept the claim that the election was rigged.  They will embrace his messianic language he has already begun to use about himself, suffering slings and arrows on their behalf.  It will serve as evidence for them that liberals are evil, America is going to hell, the conspiracy is real, etc.  What he has unleashed, what he has given direction and voice to, will still be haunting this country for decades, long after candidate Trump is gone.  New cult leaders will recognize what he recognized, that there is a large, powerful, easily manipulated segment of our population that are just ripe for the picking and will be hungry for a new savior.  

I would love for this entire thing to be wrong, but I fear I may be right.  The Cult of Trump may fail at the ballot box, but it won’t be over, this is just the beginning.  Wait until his True Believers suffer their Great Disappointment.